They probably would if they could. Substance abusers are often aware at some deeper level how much their using behaviour is hurting people, but the alcohol/drugs has become too important to them to stop. They may have become dependant on it, both physically and emotionally, and cannot bear the physical and emotional discomfort when they try to stop. In addition, for many, their failed attempts to stop and the censure of others has affected their self esteem to the point that they have lost hope in their ability to solve the problem. This, of course, also adds to their emotional pain. If you don’t see this emotional pain, it can be because they are too well defended. Our Family Member programs can help with this.